The Average American Believes…

By xerocube | August 18, 2006

I decided to search Google for a random phrase and report the first five full sentences in the summary listing that included a particular phrase. The following phrase was used: “the average American believes.” Then, we will take our finding completely out of context and assume they are vast generalizations on the American public.

In the tradition started by the Tuesday Turnip (see mental_floss for details), let’s find out what the average American believes…

  1. The average American believes that WWII was good because it liberated Japan from fascist Imperialism.
  2. Unfortunately, statistics on what the average American believes are not entirely relevant.
  3. the average American believes literally in the Bible and consumes 25 pounds of candy a year.
  4. The average American believes everybody in India is starving and everybody meditates and everybody is loving.
  5. I believe that the average American believes a phone number works to to call someone on the phone. [sic]

Hmm… I find the results enlightening. Luckily, I am relieved to find that statistics on what the average American believes are irrelevant. And thankfully, we, as a populace, hold a common belief that phone numbers work to call someone on a telephone.

Well, this was fun. We should do this again sometime. Thanks for stopping by! Time for me to start chowing down on some candy…

Topics: Misc. | No Comments »